What was different this time?

On Wednesday, I went hiking with two of my friends. They are both health and fitness professionals, fit and gorgeous. I adore them both. And they accepted and supported me at 323 pounds. Now, they encourage and support me in efforts to get healthy. In fact, I texted them on Tuesday if they wanted to hike on Wednesday. And they both said, “Yes, however, we can support you.” It wasn’t an intense hike; it was two miles and pretty flat. Okay, it was a really nice walk in the desert.

As we were hiking, Michelle asked me, “What was different this time? What sparked me being able to change everything and stay with it?” It is a really huge question. I quipped back, “I didn’t want to die.”

At 323 pounds, I was dying anyway. This list of metabolic issues was way too long. So, what was different this time? Part of it was COVID. This virus scares the bejeezus out of me. I was a poster child of someone who would die from it. Or at least, have to be intubated to survive. And I will not be intubated again. I still have a partially collapsed lung from my last intubation. So, if I get this, I would be dead.

But also, my life was going to change whether I wanted it to or not. My work closed my office, and I am working from home. Then, Nevada closed down, and everyone who could was working from home. However, when the vaccine is approved, I will still be working from home.

Since everything was changing, changing how I live was logical and not too hard. Losing almost 200 hundred pounds is very different than losing 30 or 50 pounds. This is a long-term process. Years. So, I needed to figure out how to exercise. UGH…I hate that word, and I hate to “exercise.” But I can be active. So, I started to walk. Walking to the mailbox. Around the complex. Then on the trail. When it is hot, I walk in the mornings. Now that it is cooler, I walk a series of shorter walks. I can’t get too cold because it makes my joints hurt too much. But I walk. And I hike.

I also live by myself. So, I eat what I want. Since I don’t leave the house, it was time to start cooking for myself. I started to post recipes here. But seriously, recipe development is more work than I have the time or desire to do. But, I can make healthier choices. And I do. But here is the truth, releasing weight is simple, expend more energy than you consume. And a calorie is a calorie. Some calories have better nutritional value and keep you fuller longer. But when it comes down to releasing weight, it doesn’t matter if your calories come from cauliflower or cheesecake.

This isn’t a linear journey. I have ups and downs. Stressful times still lead to stress ice cream. But, it is okay. I still log. I still walk. My life isn’t quite my own right now. I am helping to care for my parents at night and am eating with them. The holidays and holiday eating is a thing. But parties and treats are at a minimum this year. So, I am focusing on maintaining my weight below 250 pounds until my parents’ situation is stabilized. And the irony is…I am releasing weight.

I don’t have an ending to this blog. But, I need to get to the store for my parents, stop by a friend’s house to drop off some things for him, and then spend some time with my parents and make dinner. Thank heavens for left-overs!

I truly hope you have a great day. It is a cruel, crazy, beautiful world out there. Please remember to be kind, especially to yourself.

2 thoughts on “What was different this time?

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