What does self-sabotage look like? It looks a lot like me! Last week, I reached my second goal of 62 pounds released. I also made a few HUGE decisions focusing on health/fitness, my future, and changing my life 100%. And I got scared. This is on top of the scariness of releasing large amounts of weight.
And instead of saying, “I am scared,” I play sabotage games. Procrastinating, not eating well, and all the while, pretending that everything is okay.
I took a step back and took a breath. I need to release weight. Even if I do nothing else, I need to do that to be healthy and hopefully survive this pandemic. I also need to do this to have an active older age. I need to overcome the fear of being seen, noticed, and, yes, vulnerable. I need to figure out how to engage the world instead of being happy that I am overlooked.
As for the other part, I have at least 1.5 years before any hard decisions need to be made. But, I also have 1.5 years to create a plan that eases decision making.
I am also very grateful for my FB group of others like me who are losing a large amount of weight. Today, they reminded me to look beyond the right now, and look to the big picture. Why am I doing this? What do I want from this? How do I see myself when I reach my goal? They make stop the pity-party and do the hard work of commitment. They always help support, celebrate, empathize, encourage, and inspire me. I hope I provide for them what they give to me, for what they give me is invaluable.
I am on track. I am in the program. I am doing what I need to do. And now, I am getting off the computer and practicing my self-care.
Wishing you peace and good health,
LLC & Hazel