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Excitement and Toxic Thinking

So, last week was very hard for many reasons. My body was in rebellion, and I developed a partial bowel obstruction. The good news is abdominal massage is a thing and a thing that works! But while I was trying to resolve this, I gained six pounds. Now, I know it was because I was full of shit (literally), and once things settled, I would be exactly where I was. And I was right.

Yesterday, I weighed in at 269.7. YAY! I am back under 270. Today I weighed in at 267.6, which is a significant drop. It was kinda expected as my body starts to regulate itself again. But…I am 6.6 pounds away from my goal. AND I only had 8k+ steps to finish my solo hike on the FitBit.

Then my toxic thinking began to kick-in. Well, my steps yesterday were over 11k. I definitely finish that solo hike today. If I eat light this week and push my walking, I could make my goal this week! YAY!

No! Not YAY! This is toxic thinking disguised as helpful. Yes, I have goals. Yes, I want to meet my goals. But, I don’t need to make my goal this week. I will get to my goals when I should. And pushing myself is unhealthy. I don’t need to “eat light,” which will deprive my body of the required nutrients. I need to eat well and nourish my body. I don’t need to push my walking. My body needs rest days. And what will completing a virtual hike on my FitBit do for me? Really? I just like to look at the pictures. And some of the tips are interesting. But, there is no timeline. This will not go away because I didn’t push myself.

Love, patience, and consistency will get me to where I need to be. It will get me there in a healthy, “do no more harm” way. If I make my goal of 61 pounds released, great. If I don’t, great. I will make it next week, or the week after.

Remember to kind…especially to yourself! (ahem LLC, this means you too!)

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