I love my walks, and they are the best part of my day. They are my exercise, meditation, and joyful doggo-petting time. I have three walks. On Sunday, Tuesday, and Thursday, I take my short walk, which is 1.5 miles, and do some upper bodywork. On Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, I walk the long walk, 2.5 miles. And since I want to start hiking on Saturday mornings when it cools off, I walk the distance walk, which is just over 4 miles. It is also a pretty steep hill.
I like just about everyone I meet. Most of the time, everyone says hi! I do have a few people with whom I have quick chats. And most importantly, several doggos that are just needing lots of pets and butt scratches.
So, today two things happened about which I have some complex emotions. Okay, my emotions are not complex about the second incident.
First, someone said to me, “Good job! Keep going.” Now, I am taking this from a good intention; however, this feels a little condescending. I feel a little prickly. I doubt you shout words of encouragement to the skinny people. Because I am fat, you think I need your encouragement. Keeping with my assumption of positive intent, and because I am not an @$$hole, I just smiled and said, “thank you.” Now, a group of cycling ladies always tell me that I am looking good. I don’t get prickly. They saw me at 323 and now at 270, they acknowledge my hard work.
The second thing that happened was the anomaly. This has happened twice, in the same place, and maybe it was the same @$$hole.
I was just finishing my walk of over 4 miles. I was hot, tired, and ready to get home. I overheard a guy say to his friend, “I hate when fat girls wear tight exercise clothes.” Even with an assumption of good intent, there was nothing positive to be found in that comment. I replied, “I may be fat, but at least I am not an @$$hole.”
He was stupid enough to stop and confront me with a very belligerent, “What did you say?” My response was a little scathing. “I said, ‘I may be fat, but at least I am not an @$$hole.’ You made a cruel and shaming comment knowing I could hear you. I know I am fat, which is why I am out here. I am wearing exercise clothes because I am exercising. I have lost 50 pounds. YOU are an @$$hole. What are YOU doing to solve YOUR issue?”
I don’t think he was ready for a fat woman to stand up to him. I just stood and stared at him. He called me a “c*nt.” and left. I turned and opened the gate to my complex and went home.
Don’t freaking shame someone for bettering themselves. You don’t know what it takes to squeeze my fat ass into exercise pants and go out in public to walk. However, I decided this time, I will not be shamed, by me, by someone else, or by society. And, yes, I will stand up to the @$$holes.